Shalom

Not too ago I was watching a documentary about Israel and my curiosity was peaked when they spoke of Yom HaShoah, also known as Holocaust Remembrance Day.  What I found so amazing about it, is that on that day in Israel, at 10:00 in the morning a siren sounds.  At that time, everything stops.  People driving in their cars stop and get out to stand next to their cars.  Everyone stands, and for two minutes they reflect on the death of six million of their people.  I was amazed, as even here in the United States, it is hard to get people to be quiet for a moment of silence, let alone a whole country doing it for two minutes.

In 2014, the date for Yom HaShoah was April 28th, which was yesterday.  I thought about it in the morning before work, and then again when I got home.  To do my own honoring of the day, I watched a documentary about a school in Tennessee and how they had chosen to teach about diversity.  Since the community is predominantly white and Christian, they chose the Holocaust because the Jewish people were very far removed from most of the people they knew.  They started by learning about the history of what happened, but were stumped by one question.  What does six million look like?  They could not wrap their minds around the astounding number of Jews murdered.  So they decided to collect paperclips to get a sense of what that might look like.  The project lasted a couple of years, and not only did the students learn, but even some of the adults.  I was moved to hear an assistant principal speak of how the project had opened his eyes to his own prejudices.  It was a wonderful story of people coming together, of survivors telling their stories,  of children genuinely learning and how an entire community worked together to set up their own memorial site.  When all was said and done, they had collected in the neighborhood of twenty nine million paper clips.  They had obtained a true German railcar, and brought it to Tennessee to house their collection and in doing so gave people a way to honor family and friends through each tiny paperclip.  

As I watched, I wondered about the unity that the siren brings.  Everyone of one accord, putting something bigger than themselves first.  While it did not go into the details, I was amazed by what this school in Tennessee was able to accomplish.  Really?  They brought a rail car from Germany!  That could not have been cheap, but people were so invested in the project that they were compelled to complete it and do it to the best of their abilities.  When they were finished, the school decided to not only honor the six million Jewish dead, but also the additional estimated five million killed by the Nazi's.  This was made up of various groups of people, including those with disabilities, homosexuals, gypsies, Polish and Soviet civilians and Soviet prisoner's of war.

I pray that today, those who remembered their dead are comforted.  I also ask God to continue to open our eyes and hearts, just like He did in this little town in Tennessee.

Happy Easter

I was slightly chastised the other day, as one of the ladies in my office asked why I had not written much during Lent.  It is because, I am an imperfect human, who sometimes finds it hardest to do what is best for themselves.  Although I thought a lot about my "fears" and "faith", I found it hard to put words to the page.  Plus, I am probably a little rebellious, and ignore what is truly important to me more often than not.

So here I am, Easter Sunday.  How did I do this Lent?  Were my fears conquered?  I wish.  I did learn a few things though that I thought I would share.  All fear is not bad.  Some of it comes from your brain before you even know what is happening.  That is the kind that will give you an awareness of people and surroundings.  That is the kind that will help you stay safe.

I am still very scared of heights, that did not change.   As my husband drove us both home from Yosemite down highway 41 earlier this month, I tried to look out over the expanse of trees around the curves, and it just didn't work.  When I did, I got light headed and my heart started to race, the physical sensation of the fear was so overpowering.  I only really looked once, and then after that kept my eyes on the road through the curves.  It was at that moment though that I realized that I could use what I had experienced.  Even if my fear was not gone, it was something that I could use in writing or storytelling in the future.

I also believe that the emotion of fear can be fed.  When I was young, I loved roller coasters and scary movies.  I watched them all, and because of that I believe that some of the fears that I have today were from seeds planted in my childhood.  Brain pathways and fear memories are all being studied, and while most of the information made my eyes cross, some implied that repeated exposure to fear could cause behavioral changes.  I believe it!!

All that being said, it is Easter Sunday and the season of Lent is over.  While I still have fears, I did set out to conquer fear that had been haunting me for a while.  I need to have a specific conversation, and while it has not happened yet, I do have an appointment for later this week.  God was good, and opened up an opportunity to make this happen.  While I still felt the physical reaction of the fear,  heart racing and hands shaking, first and foremost in my mind was the funny way that God had opened the door.  Since the fear was not the foremost thought in my mind, but God's sense of humor was, I guess it made it easier.  So while this is not the end of the story, I believe I have turned a page in my journey.  I am now taking it in faith that God will continue to make me laugh and see me through till the end of this chapter.