Visions of corn danced in their heads....

I think it started with some people that I know who have ministries to the homeless, or as my friend Jeff calls them "friends without homes". He works directly with his friends without homes in the Santa Barbara area. Another is a lady at my church, who makes food and feeds the homeless where they are camping. She is a widow, and just knows how to stretch the food dollar. She is one of those "old fashion" ladies who was taught to garden and cook from scratch for her family. Now that it is just her, she has expanded the word family to those who do not have a home.

Maybe it was he book I read by the president of World Vision? It is his view of how we as Christians may have missed the mark in dealing with those who are without homes, poor and the third world. It is an eye opener. Maybe it was a combination of all of the above, and then some. I really don't know how it started, but I know where it took final shape. I was in the grocery store in the canned food aisle. As I pondered what my part would be, I walked the canned food aisle and the thought struck me, "what would a can a week cost?" It was then I felt God's leading to just do the most simple thing I could, just give a can a week.

So yesterday I dropped off my first can. I want to thank the nice ladies at Lemoore Christian Aid for not thinking me crazy.....or for at least keeping that to themselves. It does not sound like much, but at this moment it is what I am compelled to do. What will happen in the next 39 days of Lent? How will this turn out in the end? All I do know is that at least for one meal, one family will have a can of corn to eat.

Happy Lent!!

"Little steps equal big gains".... It was a phrase that our pastor used in a sermon not too long ago, and then the boys basketball team at my sons school used it as their slogan this season. It came back to me this morning as I sit down to write on this first day of Lent 2011. For the past few years I have taken the time to celebrate Lent. It is not part of my religious background, but I like the idea of sacrificing something in order to bring your focus to God and the death and resurrection of Christ.

While I tend to use the season, I never said that I play by the same rules. I am lucky in this respect because I get to make up my own rules. Or so I thought. Two years ago I was moved to write daily in a blog about what God was doing in my life, or how He was speaking to me. Last year I tried it again, but failed miserably. I may be making up my own rules, but it is God who needs to give me the direction.

So I truthfully was not thinking about Lent, but about something God had been needling me about for a while now. So as I was thinking about how and why to do this thing, it dawned on me that Lent was about to start. I was excited, God had again given me a new opportunity to work it out with Him in a different way.

So today I am starting my journey and inviting anyone else to join along. What is it you ask? You will just have to check back tomorrow and find out, and see if I got it done. I do have a hint for you......"a can a week is all we ask".

Reboot...

I am sitting here trying to figure out how to move forward. I feel weighed down with the decisions and tasks that I have to do, and it keeps me rooted to the spot. As I try to find a starting point it came to me that what I really need to do is reboot.

It all started with a devotional I read about defragmentation. It is a computer term about how information may be stored in free space that may not be together. When the information is fragmented, the computer gets bogged down. So to speed things up you have to defragment, or basically group the information together. That is how I felt....fragmented.

Then I remembered what my IT guy always says when I am having computer problems, "Did you reboot?". Sometimes that simple step is enough to bring our computer back to the starting point. To get back to the place where it will function normally. That is the place where I am today, trying to reboot. But how do I do that is the question?

When you reboot it is intended to restart the operating system on your computer. The operating system is the set of software that controls the overall operations. So, I am thinking what is my operating system? What is controlling my overall operation? My first thought was that God should be my operating system. Then I figured that if He was running things, I would not be feeling like this.

I think I am getting closer, so I get out the manual and start looking for answers. I have not found it yet, but I know it is there. Maybe finding "the" answer will not be the outcome. Maybe it is just looking for the answer is what will bring me to the place I need to be. I sure hope so, because I have not found my restart button yet.

"Acceptable levels"

I have been aware lately of how I speak about other people. It was sparked by a verse in the bible from the book of James. In chapter 3 the writer starts talking about the tongue, and the power it has. The verses that caught my attention were in regards to how we can speak both "blessings and curses" from the same mouth.

I was intrigued. I am basically a nerd, who loves words. Since I have started writing in this blog, my hope is that it may somehow encourage other people. So if I am taking the verses literally, I wonder how the good things I may say are affected by those that may be less than good.

Now to be clear, sometimes I have a habit of being critical or sarcastic. What comes out of my mouth is less than stellar. Although, this is not a case of being mean straight to someone's face. It is more about my mouth, than anyone hearing what I say. So can I expect God to honor the blessings I may speak and ignore the junk?

Where I live, there is arsenic in the water. They test it periodically and send out a report to the general public. We have what is termed "acceptable levels" of arsenic in the water. So even though we have arsenic, it still falls into the governments parameters of what we as humans can live with.

It does not matter how much arsenic is in the water. Once there is a trace, it is no longer clean. So I am thinking, what would be my choice? Clear water with no arsenic, or water with acceptable levels? The choice is clear, I want the clean water. I want the water that in 50 years, no one is going to come to me and say that it wasn't as acceptable as they thought. That the bad may outweigh the good in the water and there may be consequences further down the road.

I guess I feel the same way about my words. I do not want to be at the end of my life and find that the thoughtless criticism I so casually dropped, polluted the meaning of what I really wanted to say. That the snide sarcasm and wit was hurtful. That instead of building up, all it did was tear down. And for me...I just don't find that "acceptable" anymore.

So long insecurity...

Because I felt that insecurity was such a drain on my life, God granted me enough wisdom to read a new book by Beth Moore called "So long insecurity. You have been a bad friend to me." I also attended a video simulcast that was broadcast in April. I have been pondering how to put this book and simulcast into practice in a real way. God is good...so I wanted to share a small but real victory that I had the other day.

My husband had been gone on a business trip for the week, and like any good wife, I took the opportunity to do some shopping. I found the cutest little sundress that made me happy. While it is not slinky or form fitting, it is cute and comfortable and perfect for summer. When my husband returned, I put on my new sundress and settled down to watch some baseball. I did say I was a good wife. At some point I felt the need for validation, so I stood up next to my husband and said "don't I look cute in my new sundress?" He of course proceeded to compare it to a potato sack. I believe I mentioned that it was not form fitting, didn't I. I did not immediately run out of the room, nor did I start to cry at that point. As I thought of it, I was hurt that he could not say one nice thing. At that point tears did spring forth. It had been a long week without him. It was then God asked me a question. "Why did you need that validation in the first place?" Well, why did I? I felt good in the sundress. What more validation did I need than that? I forgave him without him knowing it. I figured that I had somewhat set myself up for the hurt. I mean, he is just a man. I was looking for a specific answer, and he was not playing the same game.

So two days later when I came home from work, he was sitting on the couch using his computer. I went back to my room and thought about how much I liked the outfit I had worn that day. So the first thought in my mind was to go and "ask" my husband if I looked cute. I could not believe I was doing it again! Looking for validation from the same man who had unwittingly hurt me two nights before.

So instead I strutted out into the living room, swinging my hips all the way, and announced to my husband that I looked cute today. I let him know that I was not asking him if I looked cute, but was telling him that I did! I then strutted back to my room, laughing all the way. Leaving my husband sitting there shaking his head, but with a grin on his face.

I felt free! I was then able to share with him that my feelings had been hurt, and he was able to let me know that putting him in that situation made him feel stupid and insincere. A victory for both of us.

Not keeping my fingers crossed...

As the week started I was tired and in pain. Then the car had problems, the weather was horrible and the tax man called. The dentist had bad news, the bills are due and there is not enough time in the day for everything that has to be done. As I did my bible study and the example of Job was used, I felt some connection to the man who had to bear so much. Not so much in severity, but in how one thing after another came up to weigh me down.

After pouting for some time, my mind went to the fact that I should be happy. Well I thought, it could be worse. So many others had many more serious problems than mine. My mind though rebelled against that thought. I should be happy, because God is good, not because someone had it worse than I did. I should be happy because I have hope.

Each problem could be resolved with money, time or blessing. Or a combination of the three. I had been through these same things before, and every time God has brought my family through it. It may take time, work and may not be the exact outcome that I want, but I know that these things will end.

I have hope. Not the keep your fingers crossed hope, but the kind that is based on a promise of God. He knows His plans for me, and those plans include my future and my hope.

Let me count the ways.....

Every day, I am surprised by what God uses to encourage me.

I love words, so for me I try to share encouragement through the written word. Sometimes it is in this blog, or it may be an email and even sometimes it is a good old fashion card that comes snail mail. I do this as a form of worship.

Not everyone loves words though. I think of the article of a young woman who opened a new dance studio. What caught my eye, was the fact that she is using it as an expression of her love for God. She is teaching dance, as a medium to encourage grace, faith and self-esteem.

Then there is the young teacher at my son's school. She, along with some friends of hers, are using photography as their means of expression. As I look at their photos and comments, I am excited by their unique worship of God.

Three different people with three different forms of worship. For me, that is not only encouraging, but extremely exciting. Each person gifted with a unique way to glorify a truly unique God.